Totally Real City of

SULLIVAN, INDIANA

A message from our mayor:

Salutations!!

We hope you find something useful here. Or at least something to screenshot and argue about on Facebook.The Real City of Sullivan thrives on community. Also caffeine, gossip, and a complete lack of zoning enforcement. Let’s fix things. Or take a nap.Community nap-time, anyone?I do have plans for our city. They’re real plans. Real plans are plans that do exist in this moment of time and space. That’s what they are - totally real. YOU’LL SEE! YOU’LL ALL SEE!!!Mostly, I believe that everyone should take a chance and laugh. There’s only so much in this short life of yours that you can control, shouldn’t you laugh at the things you can’t?So when I say, Take Time to Laugh, I mean: take time to feel a little happier, a little less stressed.

Respectfully,
S. Nibbles
Mayor of Sullivan

OFFICIAL ARCHIVE:

June 18, 2025:

Life-Changing Donation to the Sullivan City Volunteer Fire Department!

Thank you to the WIN Energy REMC Board for their generous $7,599 donation to the newly renamed Sullivan City Volunteer Fire Department!Now, some may say “$7,599 isn’t much,” but luckily, with no more full-time staff using electricity 24/7, that should easily cover a whole year of power before we inevitably close down our station and park the firetrucks in that empty lot where the hotel was going to go. 🚒And sure, one more dollar would’ve made it a nice, even number, but who needs money, or paychecks, or financial security for their family? Not our one volunteer firefighter!#TakeTimetoVolunteer #BudgetFriendlyHero #RunningACityIsSoEasy #SullivanIndiana #SatiricalParody

June 18, 2025:

Severe Weather Warning!
maybe

“CodeACORN Alert System Now Live!” 🐿️Mayor Nibbles is proud to announce the launch of CodeACORN, a totally real emergency alert system that delivers critical updates using vape clouds as smoke signals, encoded messages written in lemon juice on paper, and calculated head tilts when we accidentally make eye contact in public.And yes, CodeACORN is ten times more accurate than radar, satellite, or common sense combined. You think Jesse Walker could predict the weather this accurately? Be so fr besties. 💅🏻To register, simply call Sullivan City Hall and politely leave your name, number, and the word “ACORNS.” They’ll pretend they don’t understand, they might even hang up on you…𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘭𝘭 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯.#CodeACORN #PoolPartyTime? #JustMayorStuff #SullivanIN #JDDoesntEvenGoHere #Parody

June 14, 2025:

Sullivan Celebrates the Flags!

Today, on June 14th, we honor the flag as it was adopted as the American flag in 1777 as a symbol of unity, freedom, and national identity. 🇺🇸(Yes, the 𝘈𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘯 flag - we definitely posted the correct flag this time. No, we didn’t add a guy to payroll to check all flags, smh. That’s slander if you say we did.)Tomorrow, at the Sullivan Youth Sports Complex, we cheer for kids ripping them off each other in pursuit of the highest honor Sullivan has to offer: football legends. 🏈#SullivanINNews #TwoFlagsOneSullivan #JuicedByJoink #Parody

June 13, 2025:

The Mystery of July 31:

We’re not saying anything ever happens in this city without our knowledge… but whatever ‘it’ is that’s happening on July 31? File a permit and drop off some tickets. We might want to come.👊: #WeddingOrStreetFight?
🤑: #PermitPending
💜: #SullivanIndiana
💛: #SullivanEvents
🛸: #July31

June 10, 2025:

DEPUTY MAYOR OF VIBES, ROBIN, HOSTS CRITICAL SEMINAR:
“How to Win Facebook Fights.”

This seminar focuses on proper messaging, emoji interpretation, and how to properly communicate and converse in heated online debates.“I feel strongly that online arguments are how true changes are made,” the Deputy Mayor said. “We’ve seen it over and over again in history: if you argue something loudly enough on Facebook, changes will absolutely follow.”Deputy Mayor Robin wants the community to remember:
1️⃣: ‘Believe what you want.’ = ‘I do not have evidence to support my position.’2️⃣: ‘Bless your heart.’ = ‘GFY’.3️⃣: ‘I’m done.’ = ‘I just realized I can’t win this argument.’4️⃣: ‘Your point?’ = You all lost the plot 20 comments ago and you can’t quite remember what you were even debating before you brought up the other persons criminal history, romantic encounters, and untweezed eyebrows.When asked for his opinion on the seminar and its current necessity within the community, Mayor Nibbles was unavailable for comment and mumbled something about ‘waiting for the storm to pass’.Thank you, Deputy Mayor of Vibes, for TAKING TIME TO CARE ABOUT INTERNET ARGUMENTS! 💜💛#TakeTimeToLaugh
#JustDeputyMayorStuff
#SullivanIndiana
#SmallTownBigFun
#SatiricalSullivan

June 8, 2025:

In a bold move that absolutely no one asked for, Mayor Nibbles has issued his first official proclamation:

City council meetings are now to be conducted exclusively through interpretive dance.
Why? Because apparently “talking didn’t fix anything,” and “neither did the last guy.”🧣 Colorful scarves? Encouraged.
💃 Choreographed outrage? Required.
🎭 Understanding what the hell is going on? As always, optional.Public commentary will now be submitted via aggressive jazz hands, synchronized arm movements, and the wave of your oh so pretty scarf. And if you’re confused? Good. That’s how government has always worked here.Mayor Nibbles signed this proclamation using paw prints and too much legal authority. The City is now accepting song requests for future meetings. They can be submitted to the other City of Sullivan page via the comment section.We’re behind you all the way, Mayor Nibbles. 🫡#JuicedByJoink #SullivanINNews #ChatGPTRunsThisPageToo #Satire #PieCity

June 6, 2025:

Mayor Nibbles stopped by a local lemonade stand today to support the Sullivan Humane Society - now that it’s officially within city limits. 🍋

With 1.5 miles of strategic relocation behind them, the Humane Society has finally crossed the invisible line between “not our problem” and “let’s help our friends!!”The real credit forever goes to the young girls running the stand, who poured their hearts into raising money for shelter pets - no strings attached, no headlines requested, just two big hearts. 💛Meanwhile, Mayor Nibbles was seen clutching a lemonade and a conveniently timed protest sign, proudly leveraging kindness he didn’t cultivate.🐾 Moral of the story? Don’t underestimate the power of girls, dogs, or geographic technicalities.(If you’d like to really support the Humane Society and the thoughtful young citizens who are leading the charge: Squeeze the Day will be set up in front of the Civic Center from 10am-4pm tomorrow)#NibblesSupportsSullivan
#NeverMissAPhotoOp
#JustMayorStuff
#StrategicKindness
#TakeTimeToFixYourReputation
#Parody

June 6, 2025:

We heard there was drama about the pool, so Mayor Nibbles launched a bold new initiative:JelloVision 2025

Why waste water when you can enhance it with 600 boxes of lime Jello mix and a dream?“It’s fun. It’s fruity. It’s a little thicker than expected,” said Deputy Mayor of Vibes, Robin-from-the-Park.Sadly, the health department did not share the vision. They used words like ‘unacceptable’, ‘concerning’, and allegedly ‘blatant violations of health codes’ according to someone who clearly doesn’t get Jello culture.So! The pool is sadly closed all weekend while we pivot to a less snackable version of summer.See you Monday. Bring a s̶p̶o̶o̶n̶ lifevest or whatever.#JelloVision2025
#MayorNibbles #RunningACityIsEasierWithoutTheHealthDept
#Parody
#SatiricalButActuallyClosed

June 5, 2025:

Roads are thing of the past, Sullivan is now embracing:
NIBBLES KART!

After a rigorous town poll (hosted exclusively in the back of the Casey’s where some of us are still welcome at), Sullivan citizens voted 11 to 2 to fund Mario Kart-style street enhancements as the town’s official plan for economic growth.DPW crews spent time laying rainbow strips down West Johnson Street and West Washington Street. Rain or shine, some of these guys deliver every time. 👏#NibblesKart #BringingBusinessOneBananaAtATime #SullivanSpeedway #TakeTimeToLaugh #JustMayorStuff #Satire

June 5, 2025:

📣 Official Statement from Mayor Nibbles 🐿️

“Citizens of Sullivan, I want to start by saying: this rain is not my fault. I know some of you have accused me of bringing in ‘outsider clouds’ and letting the ‘deep puddle state’ take over our favored downtown. I assure you: I remain committed to dry socks and sunny skies.Unfortunately, it seems the sky has sprung a leak, and despite our best efforts (which mostly involved shaking our tiny fists at it), the rain continues.”🚨 Effective immediately:🚫 CANCELED:
- The “Annual Sidewalk Expansion Planning On The Sidewalks Meeting”
- The Sunshine Appreciation Parade (moved to December, pending forecast)✅ STILL HAPPENING:
- Competitive puddle jumping on the square (Peppa Pig is not allowed to attend this event, never again)
- Passive-aggressive lawn mowing in the rain to prove dominance and manliness over natureCitizens are advised to remain indoors unless you’re actively filming a dramatic breakup scene for a Hallmark audition.🌧️ Take time to stay dry. Or dance in the rain. I don’t care - that’s the police’s problem until Saturday morning at 8am.
- Mayor Nibbles#RainyWithAChanceOfPoorDecisions
#BrbFilingAnHRComplaintAgainstTheSky
#CityofSullivan
#SoggySullivan
#Satire

June 3, 2025:

SULLIVAN DID SOMETHING COOL!!

Normally we would never post about a sport that isn’t football, but we’re making an exception since this is apparently ‘historic’, ‘legendary’, and ‘totally badass’.🎱 Sullivan Team ‘Nailed It’ is headed to the APA World Championship in Vegas. This is the first time any team from Sullivan has made it this far.
And to add milestoneses on milestones: Rachel Timms is officially the first woman from Sullivan to ever compete on the world stage. 🏆So buy a ball. Support a baddie. Pretend you totally care about a sport with no bleachers, helmets, or marching bands (yet). ✨#NailedIt #APAChampionship #SullivanGoesToVegas #TakeTimeToCareAboutOtherSports #SullivanHistory

June 2, 2025:

SPORTS STUFF!! 🏀🏈

Good luck to the Sullivan High School (checks notes intern wrote on a napkin…) bowling-ball(?) team in tonight’s sectional championship! Go hit some touchdowns! Block some birdies!
It’s important that the other teams have fun, but for our team? Focus only on WINNING. 🔥⚾️⚽️#TakeTimeToLaugh
#runningacityissoeasy
#SupportLocalKidsWithBats
#Parody

June 2, 2025:

🐿️ Nature Is Healing (and So Is Our Reputation, Finally):

What a stunning weekend in my city! Under my rule, the humans scattered joyfully across the land - biking, walking, sugar-rushing, and giving off the kind of relaxed energy that says “we’ve sipped the Kool-Aid and it’s super delicious.”🚲The kid on the bike? Definitely following the road laws and not evading taxes.
🧺That picnic table? Reserved for my cabinet of pigeons/ we meet the third Tuesday of the month unless there’s a protest planned.
🦤The robin? My Deputy Mayor of Good Vibes.
🛝The park? Crawling with crumbs for me to snatch up in the secrecy of nightfall.It feels good to be in Sullivan.#TakeTimeToLaugh
#RunningACityIsSoEasy
#JustMayorStuff
#CityOfSullivan
#Satire

June 1, 2025:

Welcome MAYOR NIBBLES!

With no family beside him (because he bit them all), Mayor Nibbles proudly took the oath of office with trembling paws and an uneaten peanut in his mouth.His campaign slogan, “I can’t be worse than the last guy,” resonated so deeply with voters that he won by a landslide - though some have now claimed that their vote was stolen from them against their will. 🗳️While there may be disagreements in the community, Mayor Nibbles believes in climbing toward progress, gnawing through red tape, and always hissing when startled.Mayor Nibbles thanks the people of Sullivan for their trust, their easily accessed trash cans, and their unwavering support as he leads the city with zero experience and zero tolerance for ribbons that aren’t walnut flavored.Here’s to a new era of government, a better era of government. 🐿️#PieCity #JuicedByJoink #ChatGPTRunsThisPageToo #SullivanINNews #Satire

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Disclaimer:

Satire is a form of humor that uses irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize different aspects of society - often with the goal of sparking reflection.
Parody is a humorous imitation of a specific person, genre, work, or style - exaggerating its features to make fun of it or highlight its absurdity. It mocks how something is presented, not necessarily why it exists.This website is both and is not a direct reflection of the author’s view of the City of Sullivan nor their view or opinion on any governing body within or above it. This website exists solely to spread laughter and community merriment.